a blast from christmas past!

a blast from christmas past!
for the love of christmas! my childhood was full of wonderful christmas memories, and as an adult i wanted to repeat all of the special traditions. well, i am sure my children remember the traditions as well as many new memories we have made. i must say being and adult at christmas is a challenge for my spirit. on my daughters fifth or sixth xmas, santa brought a large outside pink playhouse, some assembly required. after midnight mass and a little christmas cheer, bourbon for him and veuve clicquot for me, we started to build. wow! several hours later and a few chinese slang words, mr. claus and i were under roof. putting the finishing touches on, he stabbed a screwdriver through his hand. there was blood everywhere, the walls, the ceiling! it looked like a murder had taken place! i was still wiping it down when the girls awoke with wonderous eyes. no claus lost his life in the making of these christmas memories.
i should have known after our first christmas together that i was seasonally challenged. we had just moved to california and a new house. ok! so i had just had my first baby who had to stay in the neonatal unit for two weeks after she was born. so, babies first christmas when she was six weeks. my mother had come and gone as had my mother in law. my sweet husband was working and taking care of all the details, except we had forgotten christmas dinner. the tree was decorated, the gifts purchased, but we had no food and he was quite the gourmand. christmas day and nothing was open not even a trader joes. we ended up eating spam from a convenience store. it is related to ham right.
the year of gasoline! i think my son was eight or so. he had moved from the christmas puppy to the christmas four wheeler. no problem coming in the front door with a dog try a four wheeler. thank god we awoke to the smell of gasoline!
we have had the regular christmas pratfalls. yeah, the griswald christmas. the fully decorated tree falling. TIMBER! the lovely smelling pound cake fresh from the oven on the floor being devoured by the dog. the kids finding all their presents. yes baby there is a santa claus. but xmas 05 was a special christmas. my daughters were now in their teens with lots of friends over all the time hanging out. well they decide to decorate with some finishing touches to our outside lighting. they drew out a design for a large lighted tree. we lived on the only hill in the area. we called it our hilltop estate, mansion on the hill, castle in the sky, alright home. well this tree took up the whole yard. it was quite impressive. we took pictures and video of the lights. the following evening my husband and i were having a christmas party. we were both busy all day preparing. when the first guest arrived they commented on the lights and i said the girls did it. they gave me a strange look and several others arrived and start talking. i said didn't the girls do a great job on the tree in the front yard. everyone looked at each other laughing and they took me outside. the tree had been rearranged. it was now a giant lighted PENIS. yes this phallic symbol was large and blinking. we live next to several fedex pilots and it was spotted from the air and was quite the attraction for landing planes. we believe some college boys had a little to much fun with our lights! just to show no hard feelings i lit up the penis one more night. ohlala! christmas penis.